Cards came in the post, everybody gathered round
They'd never seen this before — they felt it was profound
A robin and a partridge and this one has a tree?
But we already have one, why are they sending theirs to me?
Who are these people?
Those are carollers — they sing
They go around at Christmas...Yes...That really is a thing.
Would it make far more sense for these singers to wear hats?
This one has a post box with a fox but why is that?
Santa's getting dressed in one, shiny boots and heavy coat
The next one has a banana riding on a goat
It's snowing in the picture, it must be really cold?
The Santa-man in this one look really really really old!
There's penguins on this one, one of them's called Phil
What's in this next envelope? [pause] Oh, that's the electric bill
So, we've got kings, we have trees, Maybe it's like poker?
I know what we need to find! Let’s look for the joker!
It’s not much like poker. Is it like baseball cards?
They're not sure they like this game, the rules seem far too hard
Is it like poker? How about Uno Pop?
Is it like Top Trumps? I’ve two robins, wanna swap?
Is it like baseball cards? They don’t understand this game
Nobody explained the rules - Humans are strange
More cards came in the post, the gremlins gathered round
Thirty little rectangles, glitter on the ground
Some have got a donkey — nobody knows why
Some have got a sleigh streaking across a starry sky
That sleigh is flying — did they use a trebuchet?
This one’s from Aunt Margaret - let’s see what she has to say.
One's got a red-nosed reindeer looking like he's had far too much
This one has swirly writing, this one's furry when it's touched
This one's super shiny, like a metal baking tray
That one has 40 snowflakes — it's made Barry's day!
Another batch today, slid in through the door
There's no instructions in the envelope, they started keeping score
There's a baby in a box — why would anyone do that?
This one's got a — oh look, they have a cat!
Found one with a snowman wearing someone's scarf
Found one that just says "Bah Humbug" — that one made Emmet laugh
Is it like Pokémon, you gotta catch them all?
This one is wintery, this one looks like Fall,
You said don't eat the wreath— so why’d they put it on the door?
Simon tripped, a pile of cards went flying ‘cross the floor.
Why'd they only send the card and not the whole entire game?
Oh look it must be Snap! - We now have two the same!
We've got two from Aunt Margaret.
Is that allowed?
She's very good at Christmas cards.
I think she won this round.
What are these stripy things?
Those are candy canes.
They’re minty and tasty, We can get some if you'd like?
“...Can we?"
— wait, where's the cat?!
They've assumed the donkey's rented
They've counted seven kings
The gremlins still can't sort the cards
They're just... too many random things
If you've got a house that's snowing, why would you just give it away?
What do you mean? We have to put them on display?
The one where everyone's in matching PJs — is THAT the winner? Do we vote?
Is there a prize? Nobody told us there were teams? Wait - Where is Santa's coat?
We've ruled out poker.
Definitely not Uno.
Top Trumps doesn't fit either.
There's no points.
No numbers.
No instructions.
No objective.
WAIT! I KNOW! Festive…
BASEBALL CARDS!!
More cards came in the post, Everybody gathered round
They've sorted them by robins, Trees, And glitter that falls down
We've got doubles - Need a robin? Hey - I'll swap you for your cat
Auntie Margaret's cornered the robin market - Look at that!
We've now collected forty-three nobody explained the aim
We're fairly sure we're winning… at whatever is this game.
The humans keep insisting "They're just Christmas cards."
We've listened very carefully.
We disagree.
Definitely baseball cards.
...Festive baseball cards.
We still don't know why they're sending them to us…
But we're winning.