Peppermint candies flying fast at stolen baking tins
Lucy is a cutie, she's tasting hers with care
She offers some to Barry - they really love to share.
Condo has a candy cane he's using as a hockey stick
If he whacks things any harder they'll be in a million bits
Phillip started pancakes, he's flipping them with style
I can tell already the clean up will take a while.
The hockey game continues, meanwhile in other news
Bob has fashioned his cane into tiny shiny shoes
The crowd goes wild the goal was missed instead it got poor Wickett
But since the puck is peppermint, he just decides to lick it.
Candy cane hockey, just a fun game for fools
Nobody involved is playing by rules
We tried for calm, we tried for peace, we tried for sport
I’d have so very much preferred a blanket fort
The gremlins are participating, not just watching sports
One's using it to zip wire, can't help but gigglesnort.
He hits the wall, a clatter of minty bits - no brains!
He dusts himself off grins real wide and asks to go again
Fred Elevator is a tap dancing star
We see he's been practicing, that lad will go far
Phillip has fashioned his into a pipe
Dressed head to toe in red and white stripes
Candy cane hockey, just a fun game for fools
Nobody involved is playing by rules
We tried for calm, we tried for peace, we tried for sport
I’d have really really much preferred a blanket fort
Meanwhile its a balance, of tired dread and glee
One's using thirteen candy canes to scale the Christmas tree
I'm really trying not to think about tomorrows chores
And what solutions I might need so we don't stick to floors
Orville made himself some skis, he's heading down the stairs,
George and Malcolm had a meeting, and suddenly declare
"Its the bestest indoor hockey in the whole entire land"
Claude conducts the orchestra minty baton in his hand
There's a gremlin aloft with a minty grappling hook
All I really wanted was to read my bloody book
Mo Hawk is mumbling, that Russian's confusing
He could be saying anything - might be a joke, might be amusing,
Condo is showing off, cane balanced on finger tip
Jack is headed for his ankles, Phil performs a pancake flip
The world doesn't stop, it goes in slo-mo, as the hockey stars collide
There's no way I could've stopped it though I'd really really tried.
There's a pile of minty chaos, canes and gremlins upside down
Condo tries to stand and can't, looks at his foot with a frown
Jack is laughing far too hard, keeps calling him a wimp
Condo grabs another candy cane... and proudly walks off with a limp.
Candy cane hockey, it’s not really sport
Nobody here is following court
We tried for calm, we tried for peace, we tried for sport
I definitely would’ve preferred a blanket fort
Condo's using his new cane as a walking aid
Carl really wants to offer up his KitKat as a trade.
He trips Jack up as he walks past and mutters, “Balance test.”
Then declares the sofa is the place he’s going to rest.
The hockey’s suspended we declared it a tie,
Condo just grins and asks: “Where’s my pie?”
Dessert is a great idea, I head to the fridge to look
This might buy me 20 minutes with my bloody book
They bowed to the pudding, they waved at the pie
Then launched three striped candy canes into the sky
The gremlins have enjoyed their canes, Their eyeballs are vibrating
The sugar rush is hitting hard. Next up: They'll be hibernating.
Candy cane hockey, there is no sport at all
Most of the evening has been gremlins hitting walls
Peace is a pipe dream, reality falls short
If anyone needs me, I’ll be in my blanket fort