It started like any Tuesday, nothing special, nothing grand
Had a mug of lukewarm tea and a vague attempt at plans
Then Timmy came in from the garden with a lead
Said "I found a puppy, can we keep 'im? Pretty please?"
Now I want to say I handled it with grace and dignity
But the puppy was a bear
And the bear was looking at me
I didn't scream
I didn't flee
I simply said
Right then. Apparently.
It's your Daily Dose of Dumbassery
Here's the latest from the chaos floor
You think you're having quite a day?
Mate, you have no idea what's in store
Timmy's got a bear on a lead
Earl's eating wax for a business plan
Douglas Tootenanny's on the trombone
And nobody's stopping him — nobody can
[Duncan]
hookderchookdyblabla
Aye
Fer ma heed!
(We understand approximately 11% of anything Duncan says)
(It's not always the accent)
Malcolm woke up, saw a chocolate moose
Thought — yes. Transportation.
Not a flicker of self awareness
Not a hint of hesitation
Earl has filed a business plan
He's calling it artisanal
The product line is Crappola Crayons
Draw from within
I'm not well
I didn't cry
I made a brew
Sometimes that's all
That you can do
It's your Daily Dose of Dumbassery
Simon's cuddling napkins, zero regrets
George is in the corner with his cabbage
Betty's seen things she can't forget
Douglas Tootenanny's still going
Strong commitment to volume and confidence
Gremlin Studios advises a safe distance
This has been your evening's evidence
[Duncan]
hoakdee-boach-ferma-wee-heed
Aye that
Plant pot
(The hat situation has not been resolved)
(We have questions)
(We will not be getting answers)
Some days the chaos is a lot
Some days the bear's too big to see past
Some days you're George with your cabbage
Just trying to make the good things last
But then a gremlin hands you something odd
And somehow
That's enough
[Duncan]
Aye… that'll dae
It's your Daily Dose of Dumbassery
We'll be back tomorrow, we're always back
The trebuchet is wobbling where you left it
Betty the cabbage has your back
Timmy's bear has been allocated sleeping quarters
Earl is sulking, visionaries always are
Douglas Tootenanny is still playing
You can hear him from quite far
This has been the Daily Dose of Dumbassery.
George sends his regards.
Betty agrees.
Probably.
Hard to tell.
She's a cabbage.
Goodnight.
Don't feed them after midnight.