Have you got a gift cupboard, everything in rows?
Labelled, sorted, dated, every recipient clearly shows?
A bucket full of spares for when the birthday card arrives?
Or have you bought something brilliant and lost it for a year or five?
It's somewhere in this house
It has to be, you bought it
You definitely bought it
...didn't you?
God or gremlin? Who's squirrelling today?
Did you file it under sorted or did it just... drift away?
Is it in the wardrobe, under stairs, perhaps behind the door?
God or gremlin? Either way—
It'll turn up, probably, eventually, maybe, for sure
Six years later, moving boxes, there it is — hello!
Wrapped and slightly vintage now, with nowhere left to go
The child it was intended for has children of their own
So you wrap it up and hand it over, reap what time has sown
WHERE DID YOU GET THIS?!
...a while ago
Impeccable taste
...sure, let's go with that
Ahead of your time
...absolutely
Accidental vintage trophy — imagine that
God or gremlin? Who's squirrelling today?
Did you plan the decoys or did chaos find a way?
Is there a sneaker with a note that says "as if you'd look here, loser?"
God or gremlin? Either way—
Time makes vintage winners, that's the gift squirreller's truth
The system works
Just not the way you planned
The gifts were somewhere
Just not where you'd understand
Six to twelve years turnaround on finding — it's a feature
The vintage market
Made a collector out of each of us
God or gremlin? The results speak for themselves
Trophy reactions, vintage finds, chaos on the shelves
You didn't lose the gift — you aged it to perfection
God or gremlin? Check your boxes—
There's probably something brilliant in there waiting for detection
It's in there somewhere
It has to be
You definitely bought it
...probably
Six to twelve years
Is not that long
The vintage gift squirreller
Was right all along