A documentary about me battling Artificial Intelligence over pronunciation, losing my mind and possibly my dignity, and accidentally making an album about love, in all its clever, messy and beautiful connotations..
I'm so bad at singing, deaf kids tell me to shut up,
So I turned to AI to help, I thought I'd try my luck.
It turned out this was a mission, a real rabbit hole,
I think I might have lost my mind but also found my soul.
The irony is tangible, poetic at its best:
The song speaks of perfect grammar causing racing in my chest.
To fix it I must spell stuff wrong, phonetics for the sounds,
The inner critic threw her pen and screamed, a tantrum on the ground.
A little word like "read" shouldn't be this hard,
My words aren't Shakespeare level, I'll never be the Bard.
But AI can't use common sense or read the whole line through,
It says "reed" instead of "read"—what's a girl to do?
Three hours) sixty tracks, my brain is turning into mush,
Still saying "reed" not "read," good grief, I need a verbal push.
The next line came out perfect but it said "head" and broke the flow,
We're not in Glasgow, chuck—it's "read," not "reed," just so you know!
Some poor engineer's monitoring my semicolon spiral,
Watching token counts explode—"Jesus, HOW's it VIRAL??!?!"
That engineer is reading every single word I've shared,
Monitoring my token count, thinking "this is so absurd."
I hope they're entertained by all the chaos I have made,
Waves and blows a kiss to whoever's getting paid
To watch me lose my mind at 5am 'bout "read" and "reed,"
Declaring love through turnips—AI's the hero that I need!
They'll frame it on the wall or make it training data gold,
"The Woman Who Broke AI While Her Love Story Unfolds."
Quarter million tokens of turnips, grammar, and gremlins too,
A case study in chaos—or an office meme come true!
I laughed a solid hour, tears were streaming down my face,
Those yelp sounds you can't contain, my lungs could not keep pace.
I woke my kid with all the noise, my silly AI din,
I had to change my knickers when the laughing wouldn't end.
My cheeks began to ache from grinning like a fool,
Tried not to yelp with mirth but broke that cardinal rule.
Woke my kid who just went back to sleep without a sound,
While somewhere engineers are reading this and laughing along now.
He speaks in tech and systems, APIs and logs galore,
I speak in gremlin sightings, finding chaos at the core.
He de-bugs the backend, I hunt gremlins in between,
Together we find ALL the faults and wrangle them - an elite team.
The songs keep spilling out now
Like I've uncorked a dam,
When I write for you like this,
I'm finally who I am.
Five years I've been choosing you on purpose every day,
But admitting "I'm in love" still truly takes my breath away.
This isn't new, the difference is it finally has a name,
I'm ready to admit it without a hint of shame.
Punctuation breaks the robots, that's our battle plan,
When they try to take us over, throw them semicolon spam.
Names like Kvothe, grammar, we will watch with whiskey in our hand,
We'll read our books and watch them crash—they'll never understand!
Sixty-five takes later,
I've got one majestic draft,
The words are right, no snarls remain,
I've mastered AI-craft.
This album would be faster
If I could sing worth a damn,
My vocal chords, however,
Are equivalent to spam.
But AI is a blessing, the flaws get overlooked,
My pelvic floor's recovering from all the laughter that it took.
But lovely feelings prevailed, my humour stayed on track,
No phones were harmed in making this—I got my happy back!